saying goodbye

it's never easy loves.

never easy saying goodbye,

to someone you love.

maybe you'll see them again,

maybe you won't.

never easy saying goodbye,

to ideals in your head.

maybe they're realistic,

maybe there're not.

these two thoughts have been tumbling around in my head all week,

but especially after dropping my sister off at the bus station this morning.

this whole thing of saying goodbye and letting go.

i strongly dislike.

(with an emphasis on strongly and dislike!)

there's a song by Hillsong called Forever reign.

one line in that song was playing over and over in my head this morning.

You are God, You are God of all else i'm letting go.

::  ::  ::

my new name for her is my--- hype girl.

Hype:

a fad. A clever marketing strategy which a product is advertized as the thing everyone must have, to the point where people begin to feel they need to consume it.

when someone gets excited about something.

fun, rowdy, or wild.

to create interest in by flamboyant or dramatic methods; promote or publicize showily .

::  ::  ::

yep...  sums up my hype girl comPLETELY!  

love you seester.

ps.

if you haven't already,

you NEED to check out {myhypegirls} blooog!

Dios es bueno

top of the afternoon to you, my beautiful friends.

the{seester} and i, just got back from a marathon trip through downtown ensenada.

after our fourth meal of tacos in three days, we headed towards main street, checked out a few lil' shops,

walked along the bay where all the fishing boats port, walked through the fish market, 

and then, after walking about five miles, we walked our skinny butts over to my favorite Mexican bakery, 

and walked home some donuts.

it's been so so so good to have nic with me these last few days.  she's such a source of encouragement.  

i thank Jesus for her.

::  ::  ::

we met a man last Friday, who found out he had lung cancer last November and spread so quickly through his body.  he has little time to live.  as i heard his story, saw the physical tumors on his head, and watched him labor over each breath, i couldn't help but want to scream out, asking God why.  why these families?  they have nothing but each other.  

lately i have not only felt the weight of pain, hurt, and brokenness, in my own heart and life, but in the lives of so many people around me.  God has brought so many people with cancer across our path here at Genesis. it's an incredible opportunity to show love.  i'm so excited  to be apart of these precious lives, even if its for a short time.

the thing that i heard over and over, the part that really left a huge impression on my mind and heart, was three words the family of this man kept saying...  

{Dios es bueno}  {Dios es bueno}  {Dios es bueno}

{yes Jesus...  you are so good.  thank you for showing me that everyday}

::  ::  ::

two of my favorite things to do here at Genesis is buying and distributing food baskets to the families.  nic and i got the chance to do a little shopping for this man and his family on Saturday.

me, trying to blend in with the bananas

oranges. (no duh , tiff)

super cutie sister, workin it

delish bake goods

::  ::  ::

xoxo

clean

washing cars is one of my favorite things to do.

maybe because i get to roll up my jeans and let my toes out of my shoes.

maybe its because it reminds me of when i was little and i'd help my dad wash his car.

or maybe, just maybe, i like watching the transformation from, dirty to clean.

{create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.}

::  ::  ::

ps.

my seester is here.

that means superawesomestuff ahead!

little chewy

 this semester we have a whole bunch of new little faces under our tutoring tree.

i love meeting all the new niños and smothering them with love and kisses.

his name is chewy.

he's quite, but you can tell he hangs on to every last word during tutoring sessions.

he's eager to learn and probably the most serious about his work, out of all the niños.

he was given a sheet of spelling words and immediately started looking over them intently.

as i was busying myself, helping all the other little cries, i noticed chewy wasn't copying the words like he was told.

his sister was bent over him trying to help.

she whispered...  "he can't write."


he looked up at me with his big, milk chocolate chip eyes, that seemed to say, "help me."

*melt

how do you resist such a face?!

i wrote out his list of words in traceable form.

you know lots of lil' dots.

and gave him a little {youcandoit} squeeze.

*puddle

he was so happy and proud when he finished.

i put a big smiley face at the top of his paper 

and wrote,

muy bien

dear sister,

thanks for jumping on a plane and

leaving your captain awesome, 

and coming to mexico to be with me

through this crisis in my life.

for being my {seester} and

my besty.

i love you!

dear bro in love,

thanks for being cool and

giving me your wifey for three days.

you're the best and

my favorite in law.

love you too.

dear Jesus,

thank you for making this 

all possible!

i love you the most!

you are awesome! 

in real life

alrighty my beautiful bloggy friends,

it's time for a confession of 

where i'm at right now in real life. 

 ready.go.

emotionally frail,

spiritually weak,

and physically sick.

BAM

so there you have it.

::  ::  ::

i'm going through one of those stormy,

night time experiences when

you're [dogonsure] you're lost,

you know where you're going, but

its raining cats and dogs, you're going in circles

and you're not sure when it all will stop.

sums it up.

::  ::  ::  

when i woke up this morning

i din't want to wake up.

i didn't want to face the day.

i wanted to fall back asleep

and wake up when the storm stopped

and the sun was shinning.

::  ::  ::

but yo...

reality check baby.

there was a whole bunch of little people

eager to learn under our tutoring tree this morning

a hot shower to be had, and

lots of grace and mercy from Jesus that was just waiting

to be taken advantage of.

::  ::  ::

as i asked Jesus [why]?

i felt like He was saying;

{just make it through this day tiff}

{and look for simple beauty}

{it may mean looking at everything from a new perspectives}

{don't maintain regrets of yesterday}

{don't worry about tomorrow}

::  ::  ::

so this is for you Jesus.

this is what i saw so beautiful today.

and this is from that new perspective.

xoxo

::  ::  ::

ps.  

here's a snap shot of the camp showers with cold water 

next to my warm shower at my house.

some people eat when they are sad.

i take showers.

best place to make life decisions,

brain storm, and

cry.

¡el fin! 

a father to the fatherless

this is just a simple story.  because i only

know what i saw.  but this is a story that

rings true in so many little lives around the 

world.

his name is Mario, and he came to

our summer camps last year with his siblings

and the orphanage they live in.

his eyes showed pain and fear.  the

beginning of the week was ok.  he

appeared to be having a good time.  there

was so much love he experienced.  but

the middle of the week he broke.  he didn't

want to participate in  activities and many times

i found him alone crying.

one of our male staff members had several

opportunities to talk with him and just listen.

Mario told him how alone he felt.  he has no one.

i made sure to take the scenic route one evening

when feeding the pigs.  we all gathered around

and tried to fight for this young man by encouraging

words, smiles, love, hope.  but that was just one

week out of the hundreds that he will live alone.  i often

struggle with questions of {how are we making a difference?}

out of the twenty orphanages that came

to our camp last summer, i felt the most

burdened for this one.  the pain and hurt,

the healing and care, that they needed was

great.  it was heavy.  all the staff felt it.

but what happened during that week was

incredible.  it caused us to pray more,

see how small and in signification we are

without Jesus, and at the end of the week

we knew that Jesus love had been poured

out on those little ones.  not because

of us but Him working through us.

after the niños pulled away on the bus,

i headed in to clean the dorms and i found

Mario's name tag.  i stuck it in my bible as

a way to remember him and the millions of

other hurting babies around the world.

{for the needy shall not always be forgotten}

please don't forget

a peak

this week we started up our tutoring program again with the ninos of {durango}

i wish so bad each one of you could experience a day in {durango}.

the niños would love you.

it would probably change your life.

but since that is not possible,

i wanted to give you a peak into what you would see if you stopped by.

you may see a whole bunch of niños sitting, hanging, climbing, on an old tree.

they're waiting for us to set up and do roll call.

one by one you will see the niños file in with their pencils and homework. 

you will always be get big smiles, hugs, and a kiss on the cheek.

big boys who are always the spit fires.

intent listeners at story time 

determination during math quizzes 

dirty lil' faces that melt your heart

    

puckered up lips that show complete concentration

thanks for stopping by and taking a peak.

a day in the life